On our walk home from Allison's and Hannah's after-school program on Friday, Allison told me that a girl in her class told her that her shirt was ugly. Oh, no, she did not! Ugly?! The seriously cute little faux-western number with blue flowers and pearl snap buttons, bought on sale at Old Navy for $5.99? UGLY?! The nerve.
Of course, I seized upon this moment as a learning opportunity. All the way home we practiced the three magic phrases intended to foil rude comments from impertinent peers. Allison leaned toward Phrase Number One, the classic, "How daaaare you?" complete with eyebrow raise and attitude, although her earnestly sarcastic Phrase Number Two, "Thanks for sharing," in my opinion, showcases her dramatic tendencies a tad better. Hannah preferred the more disparaging Phrase Number Three, "Your opinion means nothing to me," which, when executed correctly, is dryly effective and suits her personality perfectly.
Throughout the weekend, I took it upon myself to periodically criticize hair, shoes, even scarves, honing my daughters' freshly developed snark skills to a new level of competency. Even Tanner joined in on the fun, when he responded to my criticism of his less-than-fresh breath with a resounding, "How daaaaare you?!"
Am I a great mother or what?
- Marie commented:
This is probably the most important coping mechanism you could have taught your children. Because they'll be spending their lives in one form of high-school hell or another, it's good to learn how to return cattiness to sender, and will probably save them a ton of money on therapy and chocolate. Good job, Cat!
I'm also a recovering English teacher (college freshman, not high school), and enjoyed reading your observations.
- » 12/20/2004 11:03 AM