I am two people.
On one hand, I am the loving mother, the caring wife, the true believer, the dutiful daughter, the empathetic sister, the dedicated worker, the woman content to be recognized and loved for who I am by those closest to me.
On the other hand, I am the ambitious woman, the cold wife, the truth seeker, the rebellious daughter, the antagonistic sister, the restless spirit, seeking recognition and fame by the world around me.
One of me is perfectly suited to the lifestyle I have chosen; satisfied, even. But the other? The other me bucks against my life, restlessly, uneasily, chomping and straining at the bit. Driving for freedom. Spurring me on. Trampling any who dare stand in my way. Pushing for... what?
An incessant voice whispers urgently, Hurry! Hurry! You might miss something! You're going to miss something!
As time passes, as I watch my children grow, I see their endless possibilities stretching before them. It is then that I notice that one of me appears to be sinking slowly into obscurity, hidden in a darkness only I perceive. Drowning.
What happens if one of me disappears?
Mmmmmm. Perhaps that is what happens when actually grow up. We learn to focus on reality and on what is really important to us.
- » 12/30/2004 7:50 AM