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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Shamon! You Know It! HEE hee!

Well, now that my days are freed up a bit, what with my disenchantment with all things American Idol (For instance this? doesn't phase me in the least. Whatever.), I have been very busy catching up on vitally important current events. Woo-whee! Have I been missing stuff, I tell you what!

For instance, I don't know if you've heard about this, but there is this singer, see, a singer by the name of Michael Jackson, who is on trial for child molestation. I KNOW! Can you believe it? I was shocked. SHOCKED, I say!

I mean, here's this perfectly good, talented black man who is being preyed upon by attention-seeking whore mongers. Right? And disgruntled employees with a grudge (who, by the way, did not ever ever EVER report to the police that their boss had underage boys in the shower with him and requested Vaseline on several occasions while sharing a bed with said boys? Wha'?). Right? At least, that's what I've read.

I mean, whatev, people. Like any parents would leave their young son alone with a suspiciously immature, middle-aged superstar who lives on a multimillion-dollar theme park-like estate in lush Santa Ynez Valley, complete with a mansion, zoo, and amusement park with bumper cars, a merry-go-round, and a Ferris wheel. Called Neverland. Where he plays with llamas and hosts children's parties, telling the parents to go on home and leave everything to him. Honestly. How inappropriate would that be? They would clearly have to be INSANE, right? Right!

What? They DID?

Huh.

Well then, what employee in his or her right mind would see the whole shower and Vaseline scenario going on and do nothing to stop it? I mean, no one loves money THAT much, right? No one could see that and turn a blind eye, right? I mean, we all have a conscience! So obviously, it's all a horrible mistake, right?

Shamon! You know it! You know! You know it! Hoo hoo! Hee hee! Aaow!

Seriously. Isn't this the same man who sparked the single, fingerless glove trend (thanks loads for that, by the way), who grabbed his crotch at the drop of a hat, and who sang such classics, as Beat It, Billie Jean, Dirty Diana, and In the Closet? (Heh. "In the Closet." Oh, ho, ho!) Not to mention Thriller (which I LOVED, by the way)! Why yes it is!

Isn't this the same man that hosted sleepovers with McCauley Culkin and escorted a young(ish) Emmanuel Lewis to the Grammys? Uh-huh!

Isn't this the man who has slowly morphed from a good-looking black man into a creepy, noseless, white(ish) Willie Wonka? Guilty as charged!

Wait. Actually, I am beginning to wonder if maybe the defense doth protest too much. Hmmm...

Ooooh, that makes me think of a game, y'all. Let's say you are prosecuting this case, and the judge will allow you to submit one Michael Jackson song as proof of the defendant being a sick, child-molesting bastard. A Wacko Jacko, if you will. Which song will you play for the jury?

Me? Hell. I'd chose Billy Jean. Mother always told him to be careful of who he loved. Then again, if I recall correctly, the first line of Bad is, "Your butt is mine." Tough call.

Hey. I'm just sayin'.

You?

link | posted by Cat at 2:29 PM


17 Comments:
Anonymous Michael Jackson commented:

Dear Cat,

I thought you loved me. I am trying to do better.

I'm looking at the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways


But you have to give me a chance, Cat. I need a friend, Cat.

With a friend to call my own, I'd never be alone, and you, my friend, will see, you've got a friend in me.

Don't hate me because of the color of my skin. When you figure out what color it is, I mean. (And wouldja let me know?)

Innocently,
Michael Jackson

» 4/28/2005 2:42 PM 
Blogger dashababy commented:

hey cat, this whole trial is getting weirder and weirder and more and more keeps coming out.
i heard yesterday that those kids, arent even really his kids!! i dont know why i was so shocked to hear this. i mean c'mon, the one kid is whiter than me. im so naive sometimes and i didnt want to believe all this stuff but the way you described his house, its a pedofiles' dream come true.
those people that kept their mouthes shut, will have some splainin to do when they see God.

» 4/28/2005 5:06 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

THANK YOU. Neverland IS a "pedophile's dream come true"-- that is dead on, dashababy! I work with people who firmly believe Michael J is being railroaded. I'm like, "You have GOT to be kidding me...." But they aren't.

And anyone who would let that go on and keep his/her mouth shut until ten years later? SCUM. (and I'm NOT talking about the boys; that is completely understandable.)

» 4/28/2005 5:51 PM 
Anonymous Karen J. commented:

Beat it!!

And even if the dude is acquitted, even if he didn't do it, he's still guilty of being a freak.

» 4/28/2005 5:55 PM 
Anonymous perry L commented:

Funny of you to mention "In the Closet."

Check it out:

"Just promise me whatever we say
Or whatever we do to each other
For now we'll make a vow
To just keep it in the closet"

("Cause if it's aching you have to rub it")

I rest my case, your honor.

» 4/28/2005 5:58 PM 
Blogger GaiaGal commented:

The thing is...is anyone REALLY sure that guy sitting in the court room is Michael Jackson? I mean, c'mon like Cat said, he used to be a nice looking black man and the person sitting in the court room, using his name, looks like an anorexic Liza Minelli with the Tin Man's nose glued on.

I'm a news junkie, i admit it....so i've followed cases, car chases and watched political blah, blah, blah's that are interrupting Survivor right now...and this MJ trial has got to be the strangest one EVER!

Ramble on, Cat!! :)

» 4/28/2005 6:52 PM 
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» 4/28/2005 7:39 PM 
Anonymous mrtl commented:

ohmygawdohmygawd

Not to bring up the whole AI thing and get you all obsessed with it again, but DID YOU READ ROSIE???

http://www.rosie.com/

» 4/29/2005 7:36 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

NUH-FREAKIN'-UH!! OH NO! You totally opened up a door for me and SUSIE CLOSED IT! WILLY-NILLY-LIKE!! Oooooooh, THIS is a wound I shall bear forever! SUSIE, how COULD YOU?!
GAH!

» 4/29/2005 9:00 AM 
Anonymous Anonymous commented:

Cat, Why you going all "green gables" on us????

» 4/29/2005 9:30 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

O. M. G.
You got me. How embarrassing. A person thinks she's being all obscure, then, WHAMMO! someone totally smokes out the Anne of Green Gables love...
I have no excuse. I just can't help myself. (Ooooooh, and Gilbert was a hottie, yo?)

» 4/29/2005 9:36 AM 
Anonymous mrtl commented:

Cat,
Check out http://idol.wildinout.com/.

» 4/29/2005 12:10 PM 
Blogger Shaun commented:

welcome back to the world, Cat.

» 4/29/2005 11:21 PM 
Blogger Random and Odd commented:

ack. a t-boy fan web site.

ACK!

» 5/01/2005 12:52 PM 
Blogger Susie commented:

OK, in spite of the fact that you're all jealous and insane and all, I saw this and thought you might enjoy (swiped it from Butterstar):

http://tinyurl.com/aq39x

Constantine is ga-ay, Constantine is ga-ay!

» 5/01/2005 2:59 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Wow. just rubbing salt in the wounds...

Why all y'all so mean, huh? Why?! ;)

» 5/01/2005 4:05 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Susie, that was FUN! Thanks for the link, yo? I was feelin' it, dawg. You did your thing, and I'm proud of you...

» 5/01/2005 4:07 PM 

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