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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Best. Birthday. EVAH. (Part II)

(Read Part I HERE)

AI groupies
(I am totally touching Constantine's boobs here, Kalki! And that's the Free Ticket Lady with me! LOVE. HER. I'm too shocked and embarrassed to say what SHE'S touching.)

AI phone
("Hey, luhvah... 'sup? For the last time, NO! I cannot come backstage and 'adjust your mic' so stop asking!")

Where was I? Ah, yes. Intermission...

BUNS OF STEEL! Those Power Step classes at work are really starting to pay off, and good thing, too, as I had to sprint up the stairs from the floor to hit the restroom before the other ladies got the same idea. By the time I did my biz and left my stall, there was a line out the door and winding Disneyland-style through the corridors. Mwah ha ha! I totally beat EVERYBODY! I WIN! Admittedly, I may have taken out a few little A-Fed-lovin' tweenagers in my quest for first dibs, but they have young bones which I hear heal super fast, so no worries.

After the LONGEST intermission EVER, the show started up again. Oh, wait. This is funny! Well, it was to me. Damn. Now I've totally set it up to be NOT funny. Freak. Anywhos, during intermission we were treated to big-screen Pop Tart ads (?!) and clips of big name movie stars walking the Red Carpet. You know, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Jude Law, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Selma Hayeck, and the like. Guess who got the most applause?! GUESS?! (No, not Constantine, sillies. No AI contestants were shown.) Simon Cowell! I kid you not! His picture was just thrown in the mix all hugger-mugger-like, so it was all Brad Pitt (woo!), George Clooney (aw!), Simon Cowell (SQEEEEEEEE!). Weird. But FUNNY! See?

Okay, okay, on with the show.

Freaking Anwar again? 'The hell?! Well, I must say, he did a mighty fine job with Stevie Wonder's "Superstition." He even played keyboard and everything! Hey. Have you ever seen Eddie Murphy do HIS Stevie Wonder impersonation? It is SPOT ON. Just sayin'. I like that Eddie Murphy. He cracks me right up.

Luckily, Vonzell came out at this point in a slinky yellow dress and saved us all from Anwar's cover of Whitney's "I Have Nothing." Hallelujah! Man. Vonzell is SO pretty. And she really commands the stage, too. I was impressed with "Best Of My Love" AND "I'm Every Woman." It was nothing new, really. But she's just fun to look at.

Hey! Who's that hot young thing?! What's that you say? It's Anthony?! A-FED?! NO. WAY. But for real! It totally was! Dude's been hitting the gym, that's all I'm saying. Now, apparently this was the precise moment the gaggle of 12-year-old girls in front of me had been waiting for, as they began jumping and screaming and waving their twiggy little prepubescent arms like freaking crazy people. I mean, honestly. Hello? It's Anthony? One girl literally began to hyperventilate and had to sit down during "Everytime You Go Away." Which is a great song, by the way. Even when A-Fed sings it. Did you know Anthony could samba? ME NEITHER!! But he totally can! Someone's been helping him with his dance moves, 'cuz, CUTE! The crowd seemed to enjoy the Latin flavor of Marc Anthony's "I've Got You." And A-Fed's tight jeans.

FINALLY! BO BICE! BOGART! BO! The crowd went WILD as he opened with Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be" and we never really let up through "Grr! I'm your Vehicle, baby!", "Voodoo Child", and the requisite (but still entertaining) "Sweet Home Alabama." Oh! And during "Voodoo Child"? Bo did this awesomely complicated, completely kick-ass, admittedly lengthy guitar solo, in which he even used the mic-stand as a pick! I was all "Woo-hoo! ROCK ON!" (TGIM: "Meh. I don't care for guitar solos.") Gosh. Bo was all over the stage. That man really commands the audience, you know? And I believe he WAS wearing leather pants. Which is HOT. No, really. It was stifling in there. I would have been sweating like a PIG, I kid you not. He looked really good, and happy, he sounded FANTASTIC, and he was totally wearing his wedding ring. I sure like that guy.

Carrie, Carrie, Carrie... "Sin Wagon"? The Dixie Chicks? That unfortunate straw hat? *sigh* On the flip side, someone's learned a little stage presence! Woo-hoo! My Care Bear was all OVER that stage, skipping and jumping and emoting and stuff! And awesome jeans, girl. LOVE the big-A belt buckle! WAY stylin'! She lost the hat and broke into Heart's "Alone," which was one of the highlights of my evening. Girl's got PIPES and she really let 'em rip during this song, I tell you what. When she belted out, "'Til now I always got by on my own! I never really cared until I met you!" I got chills, y'all, I admit it. Mock me if you will, I don't care. CHILLS, I say! However, my stupid camera ran out of juice, so I couldn't get it for posterity. Grr. Argh. Of course she rocked the house with "Independence Day" (Again with the choreography and stage presence! You go, girl!), then ended with a heartfelt "Inside Your Heaven," during which all the Idols came back out and joined in at the second verse. It was beautiful. I swayed and waved my glowstick. Because that's what you DO at concerts. (TGIM: "I will stand, but I am NOT waving a glowstick.")

(SIDENOTE: When I went to pick up my FREE tickets from the super-nicest girl EVER, I realized I was dealing with a FAN GIRL and her posse of FAN GIRLS! They were leaving a present for Constantine, so I tagged along. We made it past security into the venue and left the gift bag with a complete sweetheart of a security guard, who incidentally informed us it was Connie's 3rd gift bag so far. Inside the bag was, among other things, a black t-shirt with the words, "Deny Everything" across the chest. Flash forward to this moment at the concert: Guess what t-shirt Constantine was wearing?! GUESS?! That VERY SHIRT! Oh! I felt so CLOSE TO HIM! Awesome.)

The Idols did a scrumptrillescent job with the ending, waved, and exited the stage. We screamed and waved our glowsticks. Well, I screamed and waved my glowstick. TGIM did not. Did ya, TGIM? NO.

The end.

Just kidding! Encore! ENCORE!

Bo and Carrie came back out and sang a duet of "Bless the Broken Road" which was so fantabulous I would totally pay money to own a copy of it. Then all the Idols came out one by one singing parts of "Lean on Me," which is one of my all-time FAVORITE songs (TGIM: "Hey. If we leave now, we'll miss the crowd. C'mon. Wanna go? Seriously. Let's go.").

After giving TGIM the Look of Incredulity and Assured Imminent Death if He Did Not CUT IT OUT, I was treated to the final song of the evening, a flippin' sweet, cutely choreographed version of "R-O-C-K in the USA," to which TGIM finally stood up and kind of moved around. (TGIM: "I'm just stretching. No, really.") Then the Idols left the stage one by one, bowing and waving to the screaming crowd.

The End. Okay, seriously this time.

All in all? Even though I didn't get to make out with Constantine? Best. Birthday. EVAH.

(Check out my Flickr account for some more concert pix... I should be getting BETTER ones soon, from my friend who sat in the front row, the lucky biznitch. Yay!)

link | posted by Cat at 2:44 PM

Blogger LadyBug commented:

Oh, how fun for you, Cat! I felt like I was right there with you. (I totally waved my glowstick.)

Thanks for the recap. Glad you had such a good birthday.

» 7/28/2005 1:12 PM 
Anonymous kalki commented:

Carrie sang "Inside Your Heaven"? I really hate that song.

Oh geez, I was totally TGYM right there, wasn't I? Super-sorry. Didn't mean to be a downer.

On the up side, YAY!! You totally had a fan-freakin'-tastic time!!!! Let's hear it for the best birthday evah! Hip hip hooray!!

» 7/28/2005 3:07 PM 
Blogger Circus Kelli commented:

Oh man! I would have totally waved my glowstick, you know, if the freakin thing had worked!

I love your account of the concert! It felt just like I was there, you know, minus the huge line at the bathroom, and the stifling heat and tweenagers right in front of you. ;)

You're the bomb, Cat. I am SO stoked that you got to go!

» 7/28/2005 3:09 PM 
Blogger mrtl commented:

Oh Cat, I'm so so so happy for you and your awesome Birthday in the Same Room with Connie.

Thanks for sharing. I am amazed at your skills with retention.

» 7/28/2005 4:42 PM 
Blogger Shaun commented:

Nice. Glad you had fun, Cat.

(biting my tongue...resisting Constantine jokes.....must....stop.....typing......

» 7/28/2005 6:29 PM 
Blogger Charlotte in Pa commented:

Glad you had a fabulous time! And I'm looking forward to the Post article this Sunday. You're on a roll!

» 7/28/2005 7:03 PM 
Blogger Charlotte in Pa commented:

Oh... and your "friend who sat in the front row" can't be much of a friend if they didn't realize how essential it was for you to sit there. :-) (just kidding, of course)

» 7/28/2005 7:05 PM 
Anonymous kalki commented:

Oh yeah, look at you touching his boobs! NICE.

» 7/28/2005 7:09 PM 
Blogger Bente commented:

Sounds like you had a super time Cat! I'm really happy you had such a great birthday!

» 7/28/2005 7:36 PM 
Blogger Random and Odd commented:

Dear Lord, I love you Cat!!

» 7/28/2005 8:25 PM 
Blogger Weetzie commented:

You are sooo cute!

» 7/29/2005 7:03 AM 
Blogger mrtl commented:

Pictures added! How fun!!

» 7/29/2005 10:30 AM 

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