So...
when you accidentally notice a colleague viewing streamed hardcore porn videos at her desk, in her cubicle, in the workplace, right there in the open, for any innocent person to busy-walk by and see, seriously, in front of God and EVERBODY, y'all! (I so, SO badly wish I were kidding, but sadly I am not), is it wrong of me to have a fiery, passionate, "What do you want?! I'm 12!" desire to seek out her supervisor and totally tell on her? Yes, "HER"! (I know, right?!) These are your tax dollars at work, people!
No? Just me then? Anyone?
Seriously. I thought I was mistaken; my friend E assured me I had to be mistaken, as we are filtered like crazy here. Well, never one to back down from a challenge, I went all covert ops and discovered that this naughty little habit of hers is a daily occurrence. As in, ALL DAY LONG. Some how, some way, she is GETTING TO THE PORN through her company-issued, totally Big-Brother-Networked computer. Can you say, "freaking insane"?
GAH! Just a moment ago I nonchalantly busy-walked by her cube, executing a near-perfect head swivel, but she sensed me, guys, she SENSED ME. She attempted the notorious Quick-Click, but her skillz, they were rusty, as she had apparently forgotten about the super large picture of a PENIS she left prominently erected-- er, I mean, displayed on her desktop!
MY EYES! They burn.
Good lord, woman. Keep it at home, wouldja?! Huh?! Freak.
That's it. I don't care. I'm telling. So serious. I don't care.
ETA: Now she's watching clips from Cops-- SANS HEADPHONES-- and muttering, "Mmm, mmm, mm!"
OY.
A thought: MAYBE she's actually watching "Undercover Cops"! You know! Undercover?! Cops!
(I know. Weak effort. I'd better bone up on my pornographic innuendos. My moral erectitude-- wait, whoops! rectitude, is showing... Gosh! This is fun! Good times, y'all. Good times.)
9 Comments:
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Unknown commented:
Oh yeah, totally tell.
- » 7/21/2005 11:53 AM
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Random and Odd commented:
I would just go into your bosses office and say "I want to switch cubicles with 'so-n-so"
and when they ask why you can say, "Because she's got free HBO, Showtime and last I checked PLAYBOY channel on her computer!"- » 7/21/2005 1:17 PM
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ieatcrayonz commented:
Nuh uh! I want my tax dollars back.
Kristine's got a point. What better way to rat out porn than with humor.- » 7/21/2005 1:40 PM
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Cat commented:
Ooooooh, tricksy! Wait. You forgot Skinemax. (Is that really a channel? Shaun? William? Oh, I'm being sexist, aren't I...)
- » 7/21/2005 1:50 PM
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WILLIAM commented:
Not that I know what I am talking about here....But Spice is a channel I think she is getting. I would recommend that you give her a company nickname. Spice is a good name. Or maybe Debbie (because she does dallas and what not). And then maybe after a few weeks of calling her the nickname the management will figure out what is going on.
- » 7/21/2005 2:21 PM
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Not-So-Normal-Mom commented:
OMG!!!! I can't even imagine. She must have a real problem if she's so hard up(snicker) that she has to seek it out on the work computer. Doesn't management EVER walk by??? That's quite nasty. (I hope she isn't wearing a skirt everyday to work) ewwwww. Sorry.
- » 7/21/2005 2:33 PM
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Cat commented:
William, I bow down to your vast wisdom. Porn Lady is hereby dubbed "Spice." LOVE IT! I will keep y'all abreast (snicker) of the situation as it unfolds.
NSN Mom, you totally grossed me out. And she WAS wearing a skirt! How sad is it that I noticed that?! Ew! Ew!
Excuse me. I need to go bleach my eyes now.- » 7/21/2005 3:00 PM
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Bente commented:
Oh my! This is craziness. I hope you find some way to tell and then get to watch as she is caught!
- » 7/21/2005 6:58 PM
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Vajana commented:
Okay, ew. Is she asking her boss for a 'raise'?
That is seriously disgusting. If you should see her in the bathroom, RUN. far. away.
I like mrtl's idea. SURPRISE!!- » 7/22/2005 7:11 AM