In what UNIVERSE is it kosher to comment on (read: pass almighty judgement upon) a person's lunch-eating habits? Hmm?! Seriously. When did it become acceptable to walk up to a person YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW and say, "Girl, you gonna blow away if you keep drinking that stuff..."? Huh?! I mean, how was I supposed to respond to that?! I also distinctly heard a stage-whispered "That skinny bitch is NOT drinking Slim-Fast, now is she?!" drift into the hallway as the lounge door was shutting behind me.
Hey! Now listen here, Little Miss Lunch Police. I am NOT a skinny bitch. Or... well, it's not as if you could possibly KNOW that I am a skinny bitch, anyway! I mean, I don't know you from Adam! Or Eve. Whatever. You know what I mean. And as far as I know, you have never interacted with TGIM or any disgruntled members of my family. Or, um, any of my former students. You? Me? No talky. Ever.
So, OMG!! WTH?!
All right. So I am a lazy mofo. I mean, just look! I am too lazy to even spell out the above exclamations of disbelief and chagrin, so why should it be surprising that I don't like to pack a lunch? What?! So I like to drink frozen chocolate Slim-Fast. There! I said it! I drink a freaking Slim-Fast for lunch! And I like it! I don't care! I DO! It has all the nutrients I need in one little can, is easy to throw in my backpack at 4:45 a.m., and tastes chocolately delicious when frozen! And let's NOT forget the five grams of fiber per serving! Seriously! FIVE GRAMS! Of FIBER! So there!
And don't think that the Big Mac and Super-Sized order of fries escaped my notice, biznitch, because it totally didn't. Nor did the super-sized pants you had on, but did I say anything?! NO! Because I have manners, damn it! MANNERS!
Sheesh. The nerve.
- kalki commented:
OH. OH no she DI'N'T.
What I have never understood is why commenting on a largish person's appearance/eating habits/etc IS universally known to be impolite, but anyone and everyone thinks they can make whatever the hell comments they want on a smallish person's appearance/eating habits/etc. And with such acidity, no less! It ain't right!!
Yep, now you went and got me all up on my soapbox...
- » 8/16/2005 12:20 PM
- kalki commented:
ps - FIVE grams of fiber? Pass the Slim-Fast, please.
- » 8/16/2005 12:26 PM
- Cat commented:
I KNOW, right?!
But please, girlfriend, let me stress the importance of a full glass of water with each chocolately delicious frozen serving. I shit you not (pun totally intended).
Hee. (Sorry, Mom.)
- » 8/16/2005 12:29 PM
- mrtl commented:
I love SF. Still had to supplement it, though. Usually with something from the candy machine.
- » 8/16/2005 12:50 PM
- Ern commented:
It's like if you turn down dessert or otherwise ask for a healthier version of something at a restaurant (dressing on the side, no mayo/sour cream/cheese, etc.) people all think they have to lecture you about how you look fine to justify their big mac with extra cheese!
But I'm with mrtl. I have to supplement my slim fast with at least some fruit or something. :)
- » 8/16/2005 4:11 PM
- aithne commented:
Really now. You have given me a tast for a Slim Fast. I never thought to freeze them! Have to try that.
When I was really skinny, it apalled me the rude comments I heard.
Just where on the popularity/ credible list did Titantic Comment Maker think she would get with a remark like that?
- » 8/16/2005 4:24 PM
- Vajana commented:
Jealous, that's all it is. I'm sure she was somehow thinking you'd be all, "Oh, tee hee, look at me yes I'm skinny tra la la".
I love those Slim fast peanut butter bars, they're deelish. Never tried the shakes though.
- » 8/16/2005 8:04 PM
- Bente commented:
That's just rude. I think vajana is right, she was jealous.
- » 8/16/2005 8:41 PM
- not-so-normal mom commented:
OMG! WTF??? She could at least keep her jealous comments to herself! Whatever. Maybe you should buy her one, tie a bow on it, and put it at her workspace.
- » 8/16/2005 8:56 PM
- Circus Kelli commented:
Two possible comebacks:
"Thank you for calling me skinny."
"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want this Slim-Fast chocolate shake?" with a deliberate look at her lunch.
- » 8/17/2005 6:50 AM
- Random and Odd commented:
During that whole rant all I could think of is how cute you must look with a backpack.
- » 8/17/2005 10:16 AM