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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
How to Frighten the Everloving Bejeebies Out of Me

Wake me from a relatively sound sleep-- I say "relatively" because really? How sound asleep can a gal be when dreaming of alien invaders taking over the body of her six-year-old daughter? (Damn Must See TV! DAMN Invasion!)-- by whispering in my ear, over and over again, in the dead of the night, a whispery, guttural, slightly wheezy, MAD creepy, alien invader-like, "Heeeeey... Heeeeey... Heeeeey... Heeeeey...", your face inches from mine so when I open my eyes all I can see is FACE, looking at me all slack-jawed and glassy-eyed, causing me to scream like a girly-girl, smack you with my pillow, then roll you and your sorry, fast-asleep-with-eyes-half-opened self over so I can get back to sleep. Oh. This is not even to mention the fact-- the FACT, I say!-- that I came THIS close to piddling in my pj's. THIS close!

I mean, honestly. Who snores like that? Huh? WHO?! Creepy-ass alien invaders, that's who!

I am seriously contemplating separate bedrooms. Or, you know, Depends Undergarments. Because FREAKY.

link | posted by Cat at 8:51 AM


7 Comments:
Anonymous kalki commented:

Cruel, TGSM. Cruel!

A similar thing happened to me last evening. During a particularly suspenseful scene of Lost (yeah, that would be all of them), Rob grabbed my side and went "Pwah!" And I screamed the girly-girl scream. And then proceeded to cuss him the frick out. Because who DOES something like that?! Cruel, I say.

» 9/22/2005 10:21 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

I know, right?! TGWM must be kindred spirits, eh? Kindred spirits, I say! with their stupid Pwahhahahaw!ing and whatnot...

» 9/22/2005 11:23 AM 
Blogger Nessa commented:

yeah - invasion - totally freaky - lost - totally kickass!

» 9/22/2005 12:21 PM 
Blogger Circus Kelli commented:

Before we had kids, Hubby used to sneak up on me when I was vaccuming, scare me, then hold my arms down to my sides really fast. He knew if he didn't, I'd smack him.

» 9/22/2005 1:37 PM 
Blogger WILLIAM commented:

That's funny.

Now he needs to get the kids to tell you that you smell different.

» 9/22/2005 9:47 PM 
Blogger Ern commented:

William totally stole my comment! Which is actually where I thought the story was going (you waking up to one of the munchkins saying "Mommy, you smell different")

» 9/22/2005 11:02 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Well, personally, I think that would be RUDE.

And it's not like I'M the scary-ass alien invader! And truthfully? In the light of day? Invasion wasn't all that scary. But the wicked, 2 AM snore fest? Freakin' freaked me the freak out, I tell you what.

» 9/23/2005 4:55 AM 

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