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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Simon Cowell is a big, fat, CRACKHEAD

Is it possible? Has the AI judging panel gone completely insane?! I mean, honestly. They were absolutely BRUTAL last night, and it was completely arbitrary. I kid you not. COMPLETELY. Is it a conspiracy? If so, do I need a theory? No, it has to be the crack. Lay off the junk before going live, you crackheads!

On a different note, how cute is Ryan Seacrest? Woo-whee! He IS! I don't care! I don't care! Say what you will, but wee Ryan is my hot little honey-pie and I will love him, and squeeze him, and call him George.

Carrie? A wooden performance? What show were THEY watching? Carrie rocked her "Piece of My Heart" Janis Joplin tune, and I'm not just saying that because JJ is my homegirl. Dude. Maybe she should have busted "Bobby McGee." Oooooh, or "Son of a Preacher Man"!

On a different note, God, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? That'd be awesome.

Mikalah was riveting, in a Babs/The Nanny/Jaaaanice amalgamy way. It's good to know she CAN actually sing, even though I felt as if her adenoids were maybe playing too big a role in the actual execution of the song. Perhaps a good Breathe-Right strip would alleviate the problem. Do they come in "drama queen"? I mean "nude"?

The bitch-slap, slam-down of Lindsey and Nadia versus the pimp daddy macpimping of Jessica Sierra? Puh-leez. Crack. Only explanation.

Amanda surprised me. But Gloria Estefan? Heck, I'll say it: NOT a fan.

Poor Aloha. I bet she needed a donut after last night. Dunkin' Donuts has a mean Bavarian Creme, girl! You go!

The rest I have forgotten. Stupid Alicia Keys for belting out tunes that inspire half-assed belter-outers to, um, er, belt 'em out... Inconsequential performances, all.

Lambson out.

link | posted by Cat at 10:00 AM


3 Comments:
Blogger Kimberly Pauley commented:

Hahahaha, this cracks me up. I came across your blog purely by accident and find so many cool tidbits in just the top post. ;-) Dunno about Ryan Seacrest (don't watch the show), but always loved that love him, and hug him, and call him George. Whatever happened to the good cartoons? Oh, and one of my favorite Jopin songs (a song of great social and political import...) and Gloria Estefan? Hate her!

» 3/02/2005 8:54 AM 
Blogger Mamaramma commented:

OK - I didn't get to see as much as I would have liked last night, but I LOVE Aloha, and I did see part of Janay's (sp?), and they didn't come close to giving her the credit she deserved. Is it too late to vote? God help me, I love American Idol.

» 3/02/2005 12:25 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Kimberly, I was a full grown adult before I realized that the "love him, squeeze him, call him George" thing was actually a riff on Of Mice and Men. Whither have you gone, fun, culturally relevant cartoons of yore? Whither?

And mamramma, sadly, it IS too late to vote. You have to vote within two hours of the end of the show. But they are kickin' FOUR sad little wannabees off tonight! Oh, the anticipation. It's killin' me.

Huh? American Idol? Is a'ight.

» 3/02/2005 1:10 PM 

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