First of all, RUDE.
B of all, well, since it is TGIFriday and all, and toilet stories are SO, um, 600 minutes ago, I may as well list the top ten reasons WHY any sane person would be led to believe that I am, indeed, an Odd Duck.
Reason #1: I don't like chocolate milk. At all. It's icky. Hate it! But a Wendy's Frosty? Is a most chocolatey, desirable dairy treat, y'all! And I just can't drink enough Dunkin' Donuts foamaliciously tasty hot chocolate. Mmmmm! But chocolate milk? Just, NO.
Reason #2: I have a dangerously intense obsession with the best damn show on television: Veronica Mars. Veronica has got to be one of the best female characters on tv today, I kid you not. LOVE HER.
(wallpaper created by outoffashion @ TWOP)
And I may have a slight, itty-bitty crush on this gentleman right here:
Oh, ho, ho. He is Logan, the show's OPJ (Obligatory Psychotic Jackass). Psychotically Jackassy, he is. Mm-hmm!!
Looky! Aren't they so cute at their high school 80's dance! Oh, wait. They are not together here. They used to be friends, a long time ago. They hate each other now. But the best part, guys? The VERY BEST PART?! He is NOT WEARING PANTS! NONE! NADA! Totally PANTLESS! Hand to God! Exclamation! POINT! Way more impressive than that wacky Tom Cruise, I'll give him that. And-- don't get me wrong-- I liked Tom in Risky Business. You know. Before he got all crazy and shizz. Seriously. Did you SEE him on Oprah? Hey. How's this for a quirky twist of fate? This actor is also a Scientologist... Oh, hey. Don't hold it against him, mm'kay?! He's lovely.
Shameless Plug for my FAVORITEST Show: Reruns all summer starting with the Pilot episode on June 14 and another episode the next evening. And the resolution to the season-long murder mystery in the finale? Will KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF. This is UPN's critical darling, folks. (I KNOW! UPN! Who would have thunk it?!) Check it out! You'll be hooked.
Reason #3: I can tell you which episode of The Brady Bunch will be airing within the first five seconds of the show. Guaranteed. No, seriously. Try me.
Reason #4: I am, at this very moment, listening to a mixed musical playlist boasting both Jamie O'Neal's Billboard Country hit Trying To Find Atlantis and The Rolling Stones classic Sympathy for the Devil.
"Pleased to meet you! Hope you guessed my name! Woo, yeeeeaaaaahhh!"
Hey. What's puzzling you? The nature of my game?
I also have Coldplay singing a live cover of A-Ha's Hunting High and Low. Ooooooooh! Here comes Relient K's What to Bury; Us or the Hatchet. AWESOME.
Reason #5: I love this guy. A LOT.
Steve Granitz/WireImage.com
Mmmm. 'Sup, luvah? How you doin'? That's right. Bring that pout right on over here. Mwah.
*sigh*
I miss American Idol.
What! Hey. Stop looking at me like that.
Reason #6: I find this vuuuuurrrrrrrry amusing.
I DO! Just look at Superman! He IS a dick! He's all, "Yeah, babe. Whatev." Heh. Tears. There are tears. I am SO getting fired. (Photo swiped from http://www.superdickery.com/)
Reason #7: I may have mentioned this before, but sometimes I like to daydream about running naked through a field of warm, glazed, fresh-off-the-conveyer-belt Krispy Kreme donuts. You know. Maybe with a rich chocolatey stream of steaming hot cocoa winding leisurely through it? Maybe a few marshmallows bobbing by? No? Just whipped cream then. Yum.
Reason #8: Sniffing bothers me. Like, so, SO much. Oh, DOES it. Ask anyone. They will tell you. In fact, there were times in school, during flu season, when I was stuck in a quiet classroom during a test or something and some random classmate with a headcold would be sniffing and I would try to plug my ears and write at the same time but it never worked, of course, because, you know, think about it, so I would eventually just flip the hell out, rush to the teacher's desk, grab a tissue, and throw it at the sniffer, yelling, "Just freaking blow it, already! GAH!" Truthfully, I am shocked I didn't have a nervous breakdown. Or get whooped up on.
I was a freaky little bugger in middle school, come to think of it... Huh.
Reason #9: Sometimes I dream that I am on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. You know, as a guest? And I am VERY witty. Then Jay tells me how good I look and I playfully swat my hand at his arm and say, "Oh, you! Stop!" And I blush.
Reason #10: Um, duh. I make lists like this. Naturally.
7 Comments:
-
commented:
Yep yep, you are definitely an Odd Duck. But it's better than being a Lame Duck I guess. ;P
- » 6/03/2005 9:49 AM
-
Unknown commented:
A duck?! A DUCK?!
You can't be a duck. I don't believe I've ever heard you quack. Not even once.- » 6/03/2005 10:38 AM
-
Vajana commented:
OMG we have more in common than I realized. Chocolate milk--bleah. Frostys--yum! Brady Bunch--same way.
And well, I've already posted about Tom Cruise and his freakish ways.
BUT, I cannot go gently into that night with you & Constantine. He is all yours, babe!- » 6/03/2005 10:39 AM
-
WILLIAM commented:
It is rare to see Superman on a blog. I like Supoerman and I love the Superdickery. Now why would you get fired for making fun of Clark kent and Lois?
- » 6/03/2005 11:09 AM
-
Amy commented:
Great list o' reasons! Odd Ducks Rock.
Tom Cruise is crazy.
Yuck Milk Choco-Loc.
I won't sniff-
If you won't clear your throat-
I'll build for you
A Krispy Kreme Moat.
That goes right in
To Con's big castle,
And after Wendy's frostys
You two can wrassle.- » 6/03/2005 11:22 AM
-
Cat commented:
CK: You quack me right up! HA! Gotcha!
vajana: C'mon. Just LOOK at that hunk o' man! Rawr! He's gonna getcha!
kc: Swear to God, Veronica is much like Alias, but in high school! There is major ass kicking! She seriously rocks!
And good analogy with the tomatoes. That makes PERFECT sense.
William: It was the shout of laughter, the teary eyes, and the subsequent hysterical "bwah ha ha!ing" to which I was referring, not the mocking. My bad. :) Superdickery!
Amy: Hey. I think I love you! That's some good stuff! Oh, great. Now I'm all a-tingle. I think it was the word "wrassle." You know, coupled with "Constantine." Oooooooooooh...- » 6/03/2005 12:30 PM
-
Nessa commented:
it's Monday & I'm STILL laughing at this post!!!! thanks, Cat - you odd duck!
- » 6/06/2005 9:20 AM