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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Are the colors pretty in your world?

Thanks heavens! Americans are FINALLY coming to their senses and taking a stand against the junk food indoctrination prevalent in today's children's television programming. In Massachusetts, advocacy groups and parents are suing the Nickelodeon TV network and cereal maker Kellogg Co. in an effort to stop junk food marketing to kids. Well it's about time!

I mean, Nickelodeon-- with its ever-popular SpongeBob SquarePants and it's Fairly OddParents-- and Kellogg-- with its ggggrrrrrreat Frosted Flakes and its misleading Apple Jacks (no apples! for reals!)-- are prime venues for the predatory marketing of junk food to my kids. Think about it... where does SpongeBob work? In a Krusty Krab shack! Where he peddles (as well as consumes) fattening Krabby Patties and sodas and shizz! What is THAT teaching the children, huh? Even the cool crustaceans and sponge-life eat the junk food, that's what! I know, right? The insidiousness of the message is absolutely mind-blowing in its genius.

Look around. The enticing junk-food ads are everywhere, I tell you, and then I go into the grocery store and all my children's beloved Nickelodeon cartoon characters are just plastered all over those fruit snacks, and potato chips, and sugary Kellogg cereals, and fruit drinks, and naturally my children want them. To add insult to injury, every time we pass a Burger King my kids are all, "MOOOOOOM! Buy me a kid's meal! Pleeeeeeeeeeaaase?! They have Dora! DOOOOORAAAAAAAA! The EXPLOOOORRRAAAAAAH!" Wake up, America. How are my children supposed to have a healthy, obesity-free lifestyle when they are eating Burger King kid's meals all the time? Huh? HOW?!

Finally someone is looking out for the welfare of my children.

Just look at Sesame Street on PBS... they listened when concerned parents and advocacy groups leaned on them and they changed the Cookie Monster's tune from "Cookies, cookies, cookies start with C! grumgrumgrumgrum..." to "Cookies are a sometimes food!" and just look how that turned out. I'll bet thousands of children do not want cookies all the time now... no SIR. Just sometimes. Take that evil Nickelodeon junk food indoctrinators. HA!

I mean, honestly. What is a parent supposed to do? Just switch off the television and send the kids outside to play? Force them out on a bike ride? What if it's COLD outside, huh? What then? Or, what? Refuse to buy the high-calorie, low-nutrition food and drinks for which they whine and beg and plead in the grocery store? With the tears? And the pouty faces? Hello? Can you say "Bad Parent"? Honestly! How's that supposed to promote peace and harmony in the home? Well?! See? Do you SEE?! It just can't be done.

And SpongeBob is gay, too, did you know? Dead serious. The bastards.

They're going down.

link | posted by Cat at 10:36 AM


10 Comments:
Blogger hemlock commented:

I don't know about the "cookies are a sometimes food" song.

While growing up, I realized that cooking monster was insane and that cookies are not one of the four food groups. He's silly. The song is silly.

In my opinion the "cookies are a sometimes food" song = lame

I agree about other marketing though. That needs to stop. Same with McDonalds and other fast food joints and their marketing.

Rant, over!

» 1/19/2006 12:51 PM 
Blogger hemlock commented:

Oh. I think I may have missed some sarcasm.

» 1/19/2006 12:52 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

;)

» 1/19/2006 1:00 PM 
Blogger WILLIAM commented:

Cat,

This post

...bahd da bop bop ba....I'm loving it.

» 1/19/2006 2:29 PM 
Blogger mrtl commented:

I wuv you, Cat. Were you busily writing this while missing AI? What gives??

» 1/19/2006 3:28 PM 
Blogger not-so-normal mom commented:

I am glad I'm one of the bad parents. Yeah for you, momma! Maybe one of the lessons we should be concentrating on is how to teach our children responsibility for their actions. It all starts with the parents. Hell, if we can sue companies for making US fat, why not sue companies for not helping us parent our own children?

» 1/19/2006 3:42 PM 
Blogger Circus Kelli commented:

Cat, yeah, what William said.

William -- THAT was some fine commenting, my friend. I'm *totally* lovin it! :)

» 1/20/2006 8:49 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

I am TOTALLY feeling like Jonathan Swift today.

*sigh*

No one can tell when my brother Dave is being ironic either. It's the dry wit. And dude can poker-face like nobody's bidness, I tell you what!

» 1/20/2006 9:08 AM 
Blogger Bradley Egel commented:

The marketing towards children is very calculated and specific and dangerous.

There is a big campaign in Chicago now, (coinciding with the smoking ban campaign), to ban soda from schools because of the high sugar and calorie content and because it got people like me addicted to caffeine like a crack whore :)

Anyway...very informative and funny post...made me laugh and think :)

Love that!

Bradley
The Egel Nest

» 1/20/2006 9:28 AM 
Blogger Amy commented:

This was great, lil swifty cat.

I HATE fruit roll ups and fruit snacks and fruit gummis and fake fake fake "nutritious" treats. Never buy them on a regular basis.

» 1/23/2006 4:25 PM 

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