Sometimes I wonder if I am an introvert elaborately disguised in extrovert clothing. I have never considered myself an introvert, and sometimes after especially exhausting parties at which I flitted from person to person to person with my chit-chatting and loud-talking and wise-cracking and belly-laughing I have felt almost sure that my extroverted, social butterfly nature is simply Who I Am.
But sometimes there are doubts, little niggling fears that perhaps I am simply engaging in socially acceptable extrovertish behavior because I have always been told that I am an extrovert, therefore I play the part of one, just in case I am one, even though ofttimes I would be just as happy at home in my bed rereading an old, dear book as I would be belting out Captain and Tennille's Love Will Keep Us Together at the Brown's annual Christmas party. These doubts are only exacerbated by the occasional debilitating episode of social anxiety that grips me when I catch sight of someone from my past-- a teacher, an old gymnastics buddy, an ex-boyfriend, perhaps-- and I would rather die ten thousand deaths or spend an eternity watching old episodes of Cop Rock or Saved By The Bell: The New Class than have to actually talk to that person, so I panic and pretend I don't see him or her or them and turn the other way and run like the frickin' wind.
Honestly. What's that all about?
So if you ever see me and you wave at me and are all, "Hey! Cat!" and I seem to see you, then seem NOT to see you, and I suddenly turn and break into a wild sprint heading the opposite way, away from YOU, knocking bystanders out of the way willy-nilly in my mad dash to freedom and introversion (and usually a donut because all that running makes me wicked hungry, yo?), well, don't take offense. It's not you. I'm just not sure if I'm an extrovert or not.
7 Comments:
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Unknown commented:
Cat, I love you just the way you are. Introvert, extrovert, whatever. ;)
- » 1/06/2006 8:11 AM
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Unknown commented:
Oh, and if I see you and wave and say "Hi Cat!" and start running after you as you run away from me, that's just cause I really love me some donuts. ;)
- » 1/06/2006 8:12 AM
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Danikabur commented:
Too funny. That's the way I am. Although I wasn't an extrovert until recently. If I see someone I knew I ignore that I saw them and turn the other way.
- » 1/06/2006 1:49 PM
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Vajana commented:
Extrovert. At least you're not an extra-pervert. Ah, I've got nuthin', it's Friday.
- » 1/06/2006 3:55 PM
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Ern commented:
Even extroverts can have some degree of introversion or social anxiety. It's a spectrum, ya know?
Oh, and I've been known to hide from people, because sometimes? I just don't have the energy. But I'm a total introvert.- » 1/07/2006 4:43 PM
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commented:
You are you. I understand what you're saying. Like Ern said, 'Even extroverts can have some degree of introversion or social anxiety. It's a spectrum, ya know?' like in most things, people are a spectrum. Thats what makes us unique, wonderful, human beings.
- » 1/09/2006 9:07 AM
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Amy commented:
I get this. I will see someone from high school and get all retarded. And they will catch my eye and say,
"Hi!"
And I will say,
"Fine!"
But they never asked me how I was. I just want the moment to be over so badly that I fast forward the conversation.- » 1/11/2006 7:32 AM