I know I have mentioned this before, but when I was a young, theatrically-minded child I used to listen to my Annie 8-track, big honkin' headphones in place, you remember, the ones with the self-adjusting headband and those squashy earpads as big as saucers that made your ears sweat and your head ache but you didn't care, by golly, because you had the music cranked so loud you could feel it in your soul, belting out such classics as "Maybe", "Little Girls", and-- of course-- "Tomorrow." Not to mention the occasional Donna Summers hit. And every kick-ass, pseudo-disco-punk song from Xanadu. With feeling.
Yesterday, that past, in the form of my youngest daughter, came back to bite me right in the patootie.
From the privacy of my bedroom I could hear this pint-sized musical wonder serenading the neighborhood with various songs the evil creators of Barbie.com have available for our children's viewing and listening pleasure. Apparently, these wicked, obnoxious web designers have taken American Idol to a new low, asking children to vote on the performances of various animated Barbie dolls singing "current" pop songs.
OY.
I came to investigate and learned to my horror that my five-year-old daughter's favorite performance was the one in which Barbie was singing an enthusiastic cover of Britney Spears' "Oops, I Did It Again." Complete with head mic. And attitude. And vaguely skanky dance moves. And gestures. (::SHUDDER::) Thankfully, no snake was involved in the making of this video.
After each performance my daughter would turn to my mother (who was visiting and was more than likely experiencing terrifying flashbacks of the 70's which, dear God, she thought she had successfully repressed long ago), and my little one would ask excitedly, "THAT WAS A GOOD ONE! HUH, GRANDMA?! HUH?!" because, of course, she had those darn big honkin' Sony noise-cancelling headphones in place and could not control the modulation of her voice to save her life. Not that she would have controlled it if she could have heard herself, actually. Just being honest. She's kind of loud that way. I don't know where she gets that. Honestly.
But my mom just laughed as I finally grabbed the headphones, kicked my daughter off the computer, and told her to go read a culturally relevant book or something, for heaven's sake; she just laughed as my daughter pranced around the house shouting "I'm not that INNOCENT!" at random intervals for, like, three hours. That's right. She just laughed and kept doing her puzzle book and I felt as if I were in the Twilight Zone because when I was a kid she sure as hellfire wasn't laughing, I tell you WHAT, but then I realized that, of course, my mother was experiencing first-hand the culmination of that curse she invoked upon my head of me having children just like me someday, so help her God. And she was loving it.
But most importantly I realized that 1) my daughter needs vocal lessons, and QUICK; and 2) that moms? Well, moms just mellow with age. So there is hope for me yet.
2 Comments:
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Random and Odd commented:
I have been trying to comment on today's post, but it won't let me!!
go here: http://slowchildrenatplay.blogspot.com
It's my boyfriend Shaun, but I think you'll get a good laugh out of it!!- » 3/08/2005 2:19 AM
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Cat commented:
OH. MY. Shaun = hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!
- » 3/08/2005 6:24 AM