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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Monday Blahs = Not-So-Random Movie Quotes

Against my better judgement, I finally saw Mean Girls this weekend. I've resisted like crazy, what with The Lohan and all, but since Amanda Seyfried is in it-- AKA: Lily Kane? on Veronica Mars? the murdered best friend? okay, why are you STARING?!-- I felt myself inexorably pulled to the Dark Side that IS the Lindsay Lohan flick.

But, like, oh my gawsh, y'all? This movie TOTALLY brought the funny. Tina Fey (SNL-Weekend Update) balances some admittedly cartoonish gags with plenty o' cleverness, so even the bit characters are surprisingly hilarious. Well, maybe not SO surprising as quite a few of them are actual comedians who work with Tina on SNL (Ana Gasteyer, Amy Poehler, and Tim Meadows).

Since I haven't had a good "Random Movie Quotes" post in a while, the following are some of my favorite quotes from this movie. Feel free to browse around. Or not. Whatev. I just had to share.

* * * * *

Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs... and the homosexuals.
His Homeschooled Brothers: Amen!

[Mr. Duvall is introducing Cady to the class]
Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.

Coach Carr: At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get Chlamydia... and die.

Karen: [suspiciously, to Cady] If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, okay? Promise?! Okay, now everybody take some rubbers.

Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, uh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.

Oh, and the short, Middle Eastern, rap-obsessed Mathlete-slash-"Bad-Ass MC" at the Holiday Talent Show? Best. Rap. Ever.

Kevin Gnapoor: [rapping] Yo Yo Yo! All you sucka MCs ain't got nothin' on me! From my grades, to my lines you can't touch Kevin G! I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I'm Kevin Gnapoor! The G's silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, OOH! KEVIN G!
[cut off]
Mr. Duvall: Thank you Kevin, that's enough!
Kevin Gnapoor: Happy holidays everybody!


Done now.

link | posted by Cat at 2:18 PM

Anonymous TGYM commented:

Enjoyed the movie. That was funny stuff.

» 6/20/2005 3:07 PM 
Anonymous kalki commented:

I thought it was funny, too. I don't remember high school being like that when I was in high school, but watching it from a high school teacher's perspective, it was RIGHT ON.

And Tina Fey is hot. That is all.

» 6/20/2005 4:12 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

"My t-shirt is stuck to my sweater, isn't it?..."

Hee. That has totally happened to me at school! But, thankfully, not quite so public (meaning, no students were in the room...)

"I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night!"

"We can't keep them past four."

"I will keep you here until four..."

Heh. Tim Meadows' delivery on that one broke me up.

» 6/20/2005 4:34 PM 
Blogger Charlotte in Pa commented:

That movie rocked! And I didn't expect it to, which made it even better. Kind of like "Bring it On." Torrance: "Missy's the poo... so take a big whiff!" or Torrance: "Courtney, this is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. I'm sorry, but I'm overruling you."
Courtney: "You are being a cheer-tator Torrance and a pain in my ass!" Is it wrong that I'm in my 30s and when someone asks me my favorite movie genre I answer "teen angst"?

» 6/20/2005 8:53 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Cheer-tator!! Okay, as cheerleading coach in my last teaching gig, I must say I have seen that movie more times than I would like to remember. But you gotta love Sparky, what with making "Jazz Hands!" happen and lines like this:

"Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."


» 6/21/2005 4:34 AM 
Blogger Charlotte in Pa commented:

Or Sparky: "Ah, good tone and general musculature. Report those compliments to your ass before it gets so big it forms it's own website!" That movie cracks me up!

» 6/21/2005 12:48 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Okay, one more pearl of wisdom from Sparky:

"I understand you have underwear up your ass right now, but it beats the hell out of a shattered skull. Think about it."

I can't tell you how many times I used THAT little gem with my cheerleaders!

Oh, good times.

» 6/21/2005 5:47 PM 
Blogger mrtl commented:

You're making me want to watch it. Stop. now.

» 6/22/2005 1:56 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Heh. :)

» 6/22/2005 4:33 AM 

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