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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Rather long, but the ending kicks some ass.

Okay. I admit it. I like TV. A LOT. God help me, I DO. I want to buy it flowers and sweet-talk it and have my way with it. I do try to limit my intake of television, but it is just so HARD right now, what with the dearth of decent television programming over summer hiatus followed by the virtual smorgasbord of simply fabulous season premieres we've got going on right now! (*cough* Veronica Mars *cough*) It is not my fault! I have been STARVED for good TV! Resistance is futile!

And though I may come off as a bit fan-girly at times when it comes to my favorite programs (*cough* American Idol *cough*), I pride myself on my ability to exude professionalism and maturity while at work. Don't let my Reef flip-flops fool you. I'm all business, with comfy feet to boot. But on occasion-- seriously, like practically never, I swear!-- I must admit that the fan-girl in me has flared up at the most inopportune times. Such was the case the other day, I am sad to report, when an event transpired that has caused me to genuinely reflect upon and reevaluate my TV-watching habits.

But first, a little background: A coworker (he occupies the cube across the aisle from me) and I were discussing high school class reunions the other day. Now, I must confess, though I went home for my 10-year reunion, I didn't "officially" attend it. Because it was, like, $400, or something! I don't remember the exact amount! But that's in the ballpark! FOUR HUNDRED FREAKING DOLLARS! I don't care if it is open bar, that is just too damn expensive, you know what I'm saying?! Can I hear a big "hell, yeah!"?! Good lord. $400?

Okay, I must admit that my reluctance to fully and officially attend may have had something to do with the fact that the reunion fell on a date two weeks after I gave birth to my Tater. TWO WEEKS. So I was, um, chunky, let's say. And embarrassingly mammiferous. Those suckers? Working breasts. We're talking ha-yuge. Well, for me anyway. Might I add that I simply do not understand the desire for big boobages? I've had 'em. Didn't care for 'em. But I digress.

So anyway, I sort of-- what do you call it? "crashed"?-- the mixer held at the ritzy resort on the hill (which already held bad memories for me related to a little mix-up with the law). I couldn't stay long, you know, due to the working breasts and all-- oh, and the two-week-old baby incessantly attached to 'em, of course-- but as I trolled the lounge with Di and a few other close friends, I noticed several things: (1) the Homecoming Queen did NOT age well; (2) people are just as stupid drunk at 28 as they were at 18-- quite possibly even stupider; (3) people really DO decide to reinvent themselves, concocting shamefully outrageous fantasies of wealth and success; and (4) many of the people I could only vaguely remember-- the shadowy kids, the fringe crowd, the geeks, the goody-goodies, the book nerds (I won't divulge my category)-- well, a majority of them had totally made good for themselves: doctors, engineers, entrepreneurs, university professors, even a major network executive, for cripe's sake. And some of them? GOT HOT. OMG, y'all. I kid you not. HOT.

So I was commenting to my coworker that teenagers have a hard time seeing beyond "popular" and what the crowd perceives as "good-looking" and they miss out on some really spectacular kids in the process. My coworker was all, "Yeah, the kid that created Google with one of his friends? Sergey Brin? He was one of the biggest geeks at my school. We all knew he was smart, but total geek. Now look at him. Number 16 on Forbes list of world billionaires."

Huh. Not bad. I was suitably impressed. To the best of my knowledge there are no PHS Badger Billionaires. Shame, really. Wait. One girl did do a Taco Bell commercial. Oh, and I am pretty sure her breasts made a brief yet impressive appearance in the movie Breast Men. I believe IMDb credits her as "Pleased Post-Op Girl." So there's that.

Where was I? Oh, yes, my descent into fan-girliness. I'm getting there! Just hold on! FREAK.

My coworker went on. He was all, "Blah, blah, didn't go, blahdy blah, was in the Bahamas, blah, blah, blah, my friends told me all about it..." yackety yack and so forth, but I have to confess something. In truth, I was not paying attention to him because suddenly? I found myself transported into this little daydream where Mr. Sergey "Google" Brin arrived at his 10-year reunion a la Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, you know, in an Armani suit, flashing a little bling, arriving via helicopter and whatnot. And all his classmates were all, "Ooooh! Sergey!" I do that sometimes, the daydreamy thing. I can't help myself. It's a hardship on TGIM, I tell you what. It's a mercy he hasn't just completely given up speaking to me.

Anyway, I had just reached the point in my fantasy where Sergey and some random hot girl he had crushed on in high school were on the dance floor performing a dreamlike interpretive dance, when something my coworker was saying caught my attention. And it is important to note that this moment? Right here? Is where my unfortunate descent into fan-girliness began.

"Wait. What?" I interrupted him.

"Yeah, this guy, friend a mine in junior high, he showed up and all the girls were flocking to him. 'Oooh, Jamie! Ooooh!' Some sorta actor or something..."

Oh, ho, ho. An actor, you say? Intriguing. I needed to know more.

"So, what? Like, a D-list actor doing extra work or something?" I asked. Obviously, as he was so laid back about it, I knew it couldn't be anyone really famous.

"He was on CSI a few time. You watch CSI?"

I nodded, losing interest quickly. I mean, "on CSI a few times"? YAWN...

"You know the one with the pro athlete who was accused of murder? He was one of the cops, or a lawyer or something..."

"Oh... I think... maybe... hmmm..." I began fiddling with my keyboard, the universal signal for, "Well, better get back to work! Nice chatting with you! Good day! I said 'good day'!"

"...yeah, his name is Jamie, but I think he goes by J. August Richards--"

I twirled around in my chair so hard I almost tipped over. "GUNN?! You went to school with GUNN?!" I turned back to my computer and quickly typed "J. August Richards" into Google and brought up his picture. "This guy?!"

"Yeah, that's him."

I'm pretty sure my eyes were bugging at least an inch out of my head at this point. "Oh. My. Gawsh. Why didn't you SAY so! Forget CSI! Good LORD, man, he's GUNN! From Angel!"

Blank stare. I must say, I admire his fortitude. If our roles were reversed I would have been backing away... slowly...

"You know, Angel! The TV show!... C'mon... Joss Whedon? Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Angel?! GUNN!... Still nothing? SHUT. UP. Really? Wow! Wait. Gunn's from Maryland? Who knew?... OMAHGAWSH! You know GUNN!"

Okay, I was in full-on fan-girl mode. I mean it. FULL-ON. And on that last exuberant "GUNN!" heads starting popping up over cubicles, y'all. I'd be lying if I did not admit to turning twenty shades of red, but DUDE. My coworker knows Gunn.

Luckily for future office harmony, my coworker did not completely freak out at my unprecedented and not a little embarrassing departure from office etiquette. Dude even promised me the next time he ran into old Jamie he'd hook me up with an autograph. GOSH.

"I didn't realize he really did have fans," he said with a chuckle, to which I replied, "'Cha!"

It took me the better part of an hour to settle down. I found myself periodically whispering, "Huh... Gunn!" under my breath and shaking my head in disbelief, which just goes to show you that too much television will indeed rot your brain and accelerate your descent into fan-girliness at the least provocation. Such as finding out a coworker attended school with a bonafide TV star. A TV star whose show is not even on the air anymore, but still. You may use my story as a cautionary tale for all your boob-tube-riveted friends and family if you wish. It's my gift to you. Oh, and one more thing:

The season premiere of the freaking fantabulous Veronica Mars is tomorrow night! 9 PM! UPN! With Angel alumus Cordelia Chase, I mean Charisma Carpenter! And Buffy's Willow, I mean Alyson Hannigan! Tune in! Veronica kicks some ass!

What?! I KNOW I told you resistance is futile. Sheesh. Pay attention.

link | posted by Cat at 8:38 AM


17 Comments:
Blogger Amy commented:

cat. you need your OWN tv show. You are the best.

» 9/27/2005 9:23 AM 
Blogger cj harris commented:

You are refreshing Cat!

» 9/27/2005 9:24 AM 
Anonymous Anonymous commented:

Hey Cat,

» 9/27/2005 9:34 AM 
Blogger WILLIAM commented:

I am surprised that when you were yelling ( I assume yelling) GUNN. That the people in your office didn't hit the deck,or craw under their desk?

» 9/27/2005 9:38 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

*click*

Oooooooh! "GUNN!" Holy cow! I could have been ARRESTED! Or TACKLED!

I can only assume they sensed the double N.

» 9/27/2005 9:45 AM 
Blogger LadyBug commented:

You are so freaking cute.

And I had no idea who that guy was, but I totally understood. Because, I have to admit, my heart started to pound a little when you mentioned CSI, and I was thinking maybe your coworker might know Nick (George Eads) or Warrick (Gary Dourdan). 'Cause, seriously? ROWR. On both counts. Which, I guess, would be ROWR, ROWR. But now I sound like a cat. Hee! CAT! (And now we've come full circle, and the commenting must cease.)

» 9/27/2005 9:46 AM 
Anonymous Christina commented:

Hey Cat,

I'm interested in seeing tomorrow's episode of Veronica Mars. My husband is a big Buffy and Angel fan, and he said Veronica Mars is like them in that it's a show that gets a lot of love from fans, but not so much from critics.
Until now, it had gotten under my radar, but the producers called me a few weeks ago to ask for permission to use a song I wrote and recorded for the background music of the opening sequence of tomorrow's episode. My DVR is all set and ready to record!

» 9/27/2005 9:58 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

(I apologize in advance for this, y'all...)

Christina, I am so excited to hear from you! Do you know that people on TWoP who have pre-viewed the episode (and are in LOVE with it!) are desperately trying to figure out who you are?! They absolutely love the song! Of course I haven't heard it! But I bet it's awesome! If it's the song they are talking about! But still! Congrats!

Phew. That took a lot of energy. Sorry. I am SO jealous that you got a call from the actual producers. I would SO love to write for that show. But thanks for stopping by. BTW: Joss is actually doing a cameo in episode 6. Just so you know. Oooh, be sure to tell your hubby!

» 9/27/2005 10:07 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Wow. I am rereading the above comment and I am thinking to myself, "What? Is this woman 12?" (referring to moi, natch.) Honestly. I mean, could I BE any more giddy?

*sigh*

I am so totally 12.

» 9/27/2005 11:21 AM 
Blogger Circus Kelli commented:

"I am so totally 12."

And those of us who are not (and most days can not even fake that kind of exuberance and enthusiasm)totally appreciate that you are.

» 9/27/2005 11:45 AM 
Blogger Nessa commented:

Well, now I"m quite pissed at myself because I was that drunk person at my reunion (but I'm not drunk all the time or hardly ever, so what those people must think) AND we have an actor too...he was on Felicity and Alias and he was the Dell computer guy once - HAH!

» 9/27/2005 11:47 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Oh, SillyNessa... Heh. Hey, at least you had a kickin' good time, right?! And as you must know-- I mean, it is common knowledge-- it is only fun to be around drunk people if you are drunk yourself. Which I wasn't. But YOUR friends were! So there you are!

What?

» 9/27/2005 11:58 AM 
Blogger mrtl commented:

I love you.

» 9/27/2005 1:00 PM 
Blogger Ern commented:

You are so funny! I love that you are a mom and a career person and you still love TV and are all exuberant! Living as we do near a med school, I get a lot more of, "Oh...I don't watch TV" disdain. But they're just LAME! I can always come HERE for my TV chat fix! I will be DVRing ANTM and Veronica Mars tomorrow night so that I can watch the So You Think You Can Dance finale.

» 9/27/2005 1:11 PM 
Anonymous Kristine commented:

Cat. they don't come any cuter than you.

I agree with Amy. You totally need your own show!

Oh and i'm with Ladybug when you said CSI I thought OOOOH NICK!

My friend Nancy went to school with Shemar Moore.
REOW!

» 9/27/2005 6:02 PM 
Anonymous kalki commented:

Best Voice of the Internet award, right here. And I don't mean singing voice, silly, although you may have that as well. I mean writing voice. I love it.

» 9/27/2005 7:19 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Does everyone have their TiVo/DVR/VCR set for tomorrow, with the exclusion of my good friend kalki stamos of the cute haircut with highlights who does not get UPN in Redneck Holler?! Hmm?!

People. My heart. It beats so.

» 9/27/2005 8:13 PM 

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