Oooh! September is National Preparedness Month! Gosh. I don't think I need to point out the inherent irony here.
Okay, so here's my new disaster plan:
I'm putting together some freaking GO KITS, that's what I'm doing! They will contain the following:
1. Water (Lots and lots of it. Water = Good.)
2. Food (Healthy, non-perishable stuff. And donuts.)
3. First Aid Kit containing-- among other things-- copious *FHP's (Especially Midol. I mean, hello?! Me in a stressed out, premenstrual state in an emergency without an adequate supply of ibuprofen and tampons?! At the ready?! Please! Be serious.)
4. Gun(s) and ammo (Up in the air regarding body armor...)
Anyone have suggestions/recommendations regarding handguns vs. shotguns? I'm shootin' to kill, mind you. I am leaning toward the handgun (it's daintier!), but there is definitely an argument for bringing out the ol' sawed-off in an emergency situation, you know what I'm saying? No real aiming skills required with one of those bad boys, I tell you what! Woo-whee!
Yep. That about covers it. Can't be too prepared my momma always says. And she knows. Woman has more toilet paper in her house than can be found in ALL OF FRANCE! She calls it her Year Supply. Well, one must never underestimate the importance of buttloads of TP, I suppose.
Hee. BUTTloads? Too obvious? Whatev. I totally crack myself up.
What? I'm just sayin'.
*Feminine Hygiene Products. Duh.
(Hmmm. Too soon to be flippant? Sorry. It's what I do when I am upset. This you know. I COULD harangue and bitch and moan and point fingers and pass the buck, but there's been enough of that going on to last a lifetime and a half, thank you very much. People in high places are NOT playing nice in the sandbox. BAD politicians. BAD media outlets. Naughty! Time Out for ALL OF YOU! Shut up and PITCH IN, I say. My heart, and my prayers, and YES, my money, and even hygiene kits put together by my extended family, are going out to all of those who were devasted by this tragedy. Even the stupid people who even still refuse to leave New Orleans. May the Red Cross bring you relief. May God bring you comfort. And--hopefully-- donuts.)
You go sistah!! I think you rock...maybe I can find the sawed off shotgun we used to own and send it to you! :)
- » 9/09/2005 5:44 PM
- sweetviolet commented:
is it that time again already? i posted a little tribute to such preparedness awhile ago you might enjoy
duck and cover
- » 9/09/2005 5:48 PM
You are crazy, but you make some good points. This disaster was as much man made as natural, and caught many people surprisingly unprepared for the inevitable. As a high school junior, I woke up in class long enough to hear my geography teacher describing what would happen if the levees broke down in New Orleans. That was in Northeastern Arizona, in 1988. Hmm. Makes me wonder how private individuals, businesses, and local and state governments were totally unprepared for this. I agree with Cat though, we need to stop blaming, because many, many people share the blame for this one, the dems, gop, the French, the man, hell, I think I must have played a role somehow...
Anyhow, I recommend a twelve guage pump, and a Glock with a high capacity mag for back up. In your cellar though, you need multiple Mini 14 Assault Rifles, a good bolt-action 30-06, oh, and a cannon.
- » 9/09/2005 6:22 PM
- Charlotte in Pa commented:
Your "buttload" joke CRACKED you up... hee hee.
- » 9/09/2005 6:32 PM
- Cat commented:
Charlotte, that was SO unintentional! Promise! Good catch, woman.
- » 9/09/2005 7:33 PM
- mrtl commented:
This is definitely the best way to start a blog-reading day.
- » 9/10/2005 9:09 AM
- WILLIAM commented:
Are you looking to pick off people from a distance before they get to close to the house? Or are you looking to deter once they get into the house. I would go with a shotgun. It is much cooler. Like Val Kilmer in Tombstone used one at the Ok Corral. Plus I could so picture you pulling it out from a trench coat and saying something really cool like "There will be no looting here BIZZNITCH!" as you pump the shotgun.
- » 9/10/2005 9:24 AM
- LadyBug commented:
I blove you and your writing, Cat.
That is all.
- » 9/10/2005 12:46 PM
- Ern commented:
Um, anonymous, I would check on the federal postal regulations before you start sending modified firearms through the mail!
And Cat, you CRACK MY SHIT UP. I love how your mind works. So what do you think is the shelf life (or packed in a box life) of a donut?
- » 9/10/2005 5:10 PM
- Vajana commented:
PLEASE tell me you will be wearing that Connie T-shirt whilst on this rampage. Please.
- » 9/11/2005 9:44 AM
- Amy commented:
FHP's! I am totally stealing that for my life. I am so tired of calling them "lady supplies".
You funny, Cat.
- » 9/11/2005 8:22 PM
- Cat commented:
anonymous sistah: Please do!
mrtl: Thanks! Feeling better, lady?
william: Have we met? In person? Seriously? TGIM insists we must have, as you seem to have a very CLEAR picture of my personality! And thanks for the suggested battle cry, as I probably WOULD have said something completely UNcool such as, "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!" (Heh. Gratuitous Buffy reference.) before whipping out my hot-pink 12-gauge pump (thanks, aaron!) and dropping those bugger looters.
lady bug: Thanks! Bloves, right back at'cha!
ern: See, you eat the donuts FIRST. Comfort food. Get it? And Hostess Donut Gems have, like, a 10-year shelf-life or something, you know, if you are die-hard and desperate, but I'd totally go for the crumb ones as the powedered sugar doesn't hold up as well in the long-haul...
vajana: Cha! As if I'd leave THAT bad-boy behind! PLEASE, woman.
amy: It's all yours, lady. Go to town.
- » 9/12/2005 6:10 AM