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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
What is UP with Paula? No, really! WHAT?!

Warning: Conspiracy Theory Alert! Do not attempt to decipher the following "logic" unless you have approximately 182 hours of American Idol viewership under your belt. Otherwise, your overburdened brain could explode. Abort! I repeat, DO NOT ATTEMPT! ABORT!

Oh, come ON! "Excruciating"? Wha'?! Anthony was actually GOOD last night, and all he got was a lousy "It was a'ight..." from Randy. Before the judges said a word, I was all up in TGIM's grill, shouting, "Oh, they'll have to give him props for THAT!" And, yes, I did in actuality use the word "props," which just goes to show you that too much television will indeed rot your brain and you may use my story as a cautionary tale for all your boob-tube-riveted friends and family if you wish. But I digress.

Alas! The aforementioned props were not in the cards for our European Idol. Oh no. No indeed. Um, hello? Constructive criticism? Heard of it? Honestly. Anwar gives a downright sucky performance and the judges at least FOCUS for a moment and tell him what they would like to see him fix. Oh. Well, except for Paula, who, while higher than Russia's Mir Space Station, was too busy slurring her effusive, unwarranted compliments, stealing Bo's hat, closing her eyes, swaying, and just feeling the music, yo. And by the way, why doesn't anyone mention that freaky wide-eyed thing Anwar keeps doing? That would be helpful. In an effort to, you know, keep it real, dawg.

Not that I want Anthony to win, for Pete's sake. I still really love Carrie. Vonzell may be finally showing up, if you know what I'm sayin', but Carrie's vocals are always solidly on. In essence, she rocks. Consistently. But Anthony certainly has not done as poorly as Simon lets on. I would just like to see Simon-- crackhead, puppet-master extraordinaire-- stop attempting to manipulate the voting AI public. But what is he REALLY trying to do? That is the question. Oh yes.

To wit: Does Simon legitimately dislike Anthony's vocal stylings and therefore would like to see him eliminated from the competition? Or does he secretly LIKE Anthony and is simply using reverse psychology in an effort to make people feel sorry for Anthony and vote for him, like, a gajillion times so he DOESN'T get eliminated? However, neither of these possible explanations shed any light on why the TPTB chose to stick the worst possible excerpt from Anthony's performance in the recaps at the end of the show.

It's a crazy, mixed up world, y'all. A world in which Bo makes bad pun jokes, severely damaging his street cred; Nadia quickly metamorphoses from edgy rocker to simply spunky; Constantine manages to smarm his way into my heart; Nikko continues to inappropriately grope himself on stage; Vonzell suddenly decides to make an appearance in the competition; Blinky (a.k.a.: Scott) appears to let nerves, bad song choices, and his biological father's rejection get to him; Anwar is exposed as a one-trick, big note, Moon River balladeer; Jessica chooses songs that are obscure and fail to showcase her talent; Anthony appears dazed and confused as to why he is continuously shat upon by the judges, and Carrie blows everyone away with her powerful, yet ever-so-slightly twangy, vocals.

Crazy, I tell you.

link | posted by Cat at 11:01 AM

Blogger Random and Odd commented:

What IS up with Paula? She looked drunk last week and this week she was on anti anxiety pills!!

Constantine has icky teeth and scary eyes!!

» 3/30/2005 11:33 AM 
Anonymous mrtl commented:

Thanks for the recap, Cat. I was off playing bunco last night. Woo hoo! Bunco!

Maybe Nyquil is Paula's friend, too.

» 3/30/2005 11:38 AM 
Blogger Mamaramma commented:

You are so dead on right. Lately Anwar is doing the crazy eye thing that got Janay booted off. I think he needs to work on his homing device - it goes out when the cameras turn on.
I'm not a huge fan of Anthony, but I do think he's playing things right with the style update. "Oh no," I told my baby last night. "He's getting cuter."
I know Bo said he would never cut his hair, but o you think we could convince him to shave off the soul patch???

» 3/30/2005 12:03 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Soul patches BUG. Seriously. I think this is because a guy friend of mine has one, and his best friend told me that "the ladies likey, if you know what I'm sayin'," and I BELIEVE I totally knew what he was saying, and then I had inapproriate thoughts about said soul-patched friend, and I was all "EW!" and it so totally ruined that look for me. If YOU know what I'm sayin'.

» 3/30/2005 1:45 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Kristine! Play NICE! I give you icky teeth, but "scary eyes"? But they're so EARNEST!

Hee. This is fun.

Wait. What's Bunco? Is that like Bullshit?

» 3/30/2005 1:48 PM 
Anonymous mrtl commented:

Bunco is a dice game that is stupidly easy, so the game is more about socializing than it is about playing.

Some drink, too, so I guess it's a little like Bullshit.

See www.buncorules.com for more info.

» 3/30/2005 3:46 PM 
Blogger Shaun commented:

Yikes, Cat....you're scaring me. I think all of the women did better than all of the guys last night. Trach boy is just boring, I don't think Simon is off there. I took a Reverse Psychology class and got an F, so I know what I'm talking about. Vonzell was the best singer last night, period.

» 3/30/2005 8:05 PM 
Blogger Mamaramma commented:

OK - so did you notice that after what's her face was kicked off tonight... the blonde that's not Carrie, and I can't remember her name right now...did you notice that NO ONE shed a tear for her? They got a shot of Carrie watching her sing, and Carrie had absolutely no expression on her face. Then they quickly panned to Anwar who at least looked like he was listening to the song. It seems with every other contestant, all the girls shed some tears when they get the boot. Not tonight. Very very interesting!

» 3/30/2005 9:33 PM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Omygawsh, you are right, mamaramma! I actually did notice that, but didn't make the association... Someone wasn't playing nice, maybe? Hmmm! Oh no, more conspiracy theories...

Shaun, you are right to be afraid. Be VERY afraid...

» 3/31/2005 5:52 AM 

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