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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
I feel DIRTY.

'The hell?! I've been tag-teamed by Circus Kelli and Kristine! (Edited to Add: and apparently by SillyNessa, too! I don't know whether to feel popular or violated...) No! Fair! THREE on one! Gosh. I feel so used...

I think Gavin DeGraw said it best when he said, "I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately." A truckload of WORD, Gavin, my man. Wordy McWord. Seriously. 'Cause, you know what? I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I've got to do, or who I'm supposed to be. I don't want to be anything other than me! He-ey-EY!

Buuuuuuuut, in the interest of maintaining Absolute Karmic Harmony in the Blogosphere, I will muse on longings heretofore unplumbed by my shallow, entertainment-obsessed mind, and speculate on the What If's of my life, by choosing five of the following scenarios and waxing eloquent. Um, or not.

Deep breath, and here we go...

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect

If I could be a linguist - I would travel the world as a translator for major players in the entertainment industry. At fancy dinner parties I would smile sweetly and tell deliciously salacious jokes and make decidedly lewd propositions for and in behalf of my clients in the course of my translating duties. Completely unbeknownst to said clients. Because I think that would be funny.

If I could be a psychologist - I would TOTALLY mess with my clients' minds, so it is for the better that I am solitarily confined to a cubicle for most of the day. Because I am a horrible, HORRIBLE person.

If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an inn-keeper

If I could be a professor - I would buck the trend and only initiate affairs with my OLDER students. I mean, that's just good, common sense, right?

If I could be a writer - I would be a tortured artist, shlupping around the house all day in my ladybug pajamas and pink fluffy slippers, pulling at my tousled, bed-heady hair, gnashing my teeth, and shouting to no one in particular, "Is the phrase 'debauched libertine' redundant?!"

If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world

If I could be married to any current famous political figure - I would absolutely hook up with Al Gore. 'Cause he totally invented the internet, right? So I think he must be really rich.

I tag Shaun, The Fonz, and Dashababy. Cuz they family, yo? Well, not mine, of course, but family nonetheless.

link | posted by Cat at 8:44 AM

Blogger Amy commented:

Cat, good for you for doing this tag. I found it a bit overwhelming myself. Turd in a punch bowl was much easier.

» 5/12/2005 9:17 AM 
Blogger Nessa commented:

I'm just gonna say that I tagged you too, missy!

» 5/12/2005 9:29 AM 
Blogger Random and Odd commented:

Have I told you lately that I love you?


I was going to write the same thing about the prof. thing, but I didn't know how to come across not sounding like a perv. You totally pulled it off!!

» 5/12/2005 9:57 AM 
Blogger Cat commented:

Kristine: I was totally going for pervy... DAMN. ;)

SillyNessa: I totally fixed the sitch! I am so sorry for excluding you! Luv U Big Lots!

Amy: Let me tell you, I am so frickin' GLAD I dodged the Turd in a Punch Bowl bullet, because... just... NO. You know?

» 5/12/2005 11:47 AM 
Blogger Greenthumb commented:

Oh you're pervy...oh so very pervy. Threesome! Ha!

» 5/12/2005 12:19 PM 
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