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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Life Lesson #315

When one is wearing heels to work it is vitally important to remember that objects may now be further away than they appear. For instance, when in heels one might want to recalculate the distance of bum to toilet seat, as misjudging the distance may lead to dropping trou and squatting, then momentarily losing one's bearings when the toilet seat does not meet said bum at the expected time, causing a split second of sheer, unadulterated terror, leading to involuntary screeching and frantic air-scrabbling, followed by a jolt, a gasp, and a rather painful smacking of terrorized bum onto the aforementioned toilet seat.

That being said, I think I've bruised my bum, y'all.

Let this be a lesson to you all.

link | posted by Cat at 11:07 AM


6 Comments:
Blogger Amy commented:

Cat. This is your bum. Can we just have a normal day for once?

» 10/17/2005 1:35 PM 
Anonymous kalki commented:

Is it wrong for me to visualize this event in a very detailed manner? Because I totally just did.

(Nice ass.)

» 10/17/2005 5:00 PM 
Blogger Rick commented:

LOL! You have painted quite a nice picture in my head. 8-) But, I'm kinda strange that way.

» 10/17/2005 5:19 PM 
Blogger not-so-normal mom commented:

OMG!!! You are hilarious! I know all of us ladies have done that,(maybe even some of the men) but you are so eloquent, and you brought it all to life!!!!

» 10/17/2005 8:28 PM 
Blogger Circus Kelli commented:

LOL -- Fuh-nee!

When I wear heels, I find that I tend to want to strut more. I also find I walk slower, thus decreasing my chances of running into people in the hallways...

» 10/18/2005 7:34 AM 
Blogger LadyBug commented:

Yet another reason I don't wear heels.

Of course, that same lesson is also vital when visiting the bathroom in the children's department at church....because WOW, are those things low to the ground.

» 10/18/2005 8:50 AM 

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