When one is wearing heels to work it is vitally important to remember that objects may now be further away than they appear. For instance, when in heels one might want to recalculate the distance of bum to toilet seat, as misjudging the distance may lead to dropping trou and squatting, then momentarily losing one's bearings when the toilet seat does not meet said bum at the expected time, causing a split second of sheer, unadulterated terror, leading to involuntary screeching and frantic air-scrabbling, followed by a jolt, a gasp, and a rather painful smacking of terrorized bum onto the aforementioned toilet seat.
That being said, I think I've bruised my bum, y'all.
Let this be a lesson to you all.
4 Comments:
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Amy commented:
Cat. This is your bum. Can we just have a normal day for once?
- » 10/17/2005 1:35 PM
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Not-So-Normal-Mom commented:
OMG!!! You are hilarious! I know all of us ladies have done that,(maybe even some of the men) but you are so eloquent, and you brought it all to life!!!!
- » 10/17/2005 8:28 PM
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Unknown commented:
LOL -- Fuh-nee!
When I wear heels, I find that I tend to want to strut more. I also find I walk slower, thus decreasing my chances of running into people in the hallways...- » 10/18/2005 7:34 AM
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LadyBug commented:
Yet another reason I don't wear heels.
Of course, that same lesson is also vital when visiting the bathroom in the children's department at church....because WOW, are those things low to the ground.- » 10/18/2005 8:50 AM