My youngest daughter, my Alli, she's a firecracker, I tell you what. A lit firecracker, too, not one of those calm and innocent-looking sparklers sitting quietly-- unobtrusively, even-- in a box just waiting for some poor sucker to come along and set her off, oh no, she's on FIRE all the time-- running around, dancing, laughing, gossiping, touching, eating, bouncing, asking, complaining, whining, giggling, performing, singing, and talking, talking, talking-- until she drops into bed from sheer exhaustion at the end of the day. Honestly. She crawls into bed and without fail wails, "Mom! I'm not tired!" Yet before I can tell her to hush and just close her eyes, she's gently snoring, her animated face all at once serene, peaceful at last. When she's awake I find her adorable and loud and high maintenance and frustrating, but when she's asleep? She's truly beautiful.
Now, according to my mother, she's my spitting image.
Speaking of, exactly who is responsible for thinking up such a vile idiom, I wonder? Who felt the compulsion to set that gem of figurative language into linguistic stone, if you will, to be used forevermore, yes, from generation to generation, to express that one's child or friend or brother or dog is so much like another person it is uncanny? Come on! Spitting image?! I mean, when one takes a moment to conjure a literal image in one's mind, the cognitive dissonance alone... Well. Because "spitting image"? As in, she looks like my spit? Or she acts/looks/speaks so much like me it's as if I spit her right out of my mouth? What?! That's just ridiculous! And ew? I assure you, spitting her out of my mouth probably would have been less painful. Then again I suppose we should simply be grateful that the genius behind this quirky figure of speech didn't go with the more literal "she's my vaginal image" or possibly the less graphic "hoo-hah image." But counterintuitive belief persistence aside, my spitting image she is, and I went and said it, so there it is. [/tangent]
I have to agree with my momma on this one. She should know, she is the one who cursed me to "havechildrenjustlike[me]somedaysohelp[her]God!" Now it has been related to me several times throughout my life that my best friend's mother-- her name was (is) Sandy and I loathe that name to this day, I am so not kidding, grrr... HATE-- once told my mother while in my 6- or 7-year-old presence, "Wow. That girl has diarrhea of the mouth. Does she ever shut up?!" I admit I do not remember this. In other news: I have the attention span of a gnat fly. I do, however, vividly remember catching a ride to school with my BFF one day and her mother singing at the top of her lungs "Short People Have No Reason to Live" while looking at me pointedly in her rearview mirror. And yes, I WAS the shortest person in my grade, and no, her meaning was not lost on me. But that is neither here nor there, so I will persevere, despite my Sandy issues. Anyhoo, short story long, as a child I talked a whole bunch. (Yes, TGIM, "as a child"! What?! Stop laughing! SHUT! UP!)
The thing is, I cannot tell you how often I look at my youngest daughter and think to myself, Good lord, will she EVER stop talking? Will she? Because DAMN! I mean, honestly... This nonstop Alli Chatter begs the million dollar question: Hello? If she never stops talking, when the hell will it be my turn?
I know, right?! This parenting gig is hard, yo?
Come on. Seriously. Why do all y'all think I started blogging in the first place?
Word? Edgewise?... Are you there yet?
Firecracker! Firecracker! Boom boom BOOOOOOOOOOM.
12 Comments:
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Well-heeled mom commented:
I feel your pain because my son, who is not my spitting image but I would still like to get a word in edgewise sometimes, yammers on and on and on.......
- » 5/31/2006 2:49 PM
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commented:
"...The boys have the muscles, the coaches have the brains, the girls have the sexy legs and we win the game!" rah-rah-RAH! ;)
- » 5/31/2006 3:04 PM
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Ms. Junie commented:
Must be in the water. My son is an incessant talker..its amazing my ears haven't fallen off. He went to the puberty talk at school the other day for the fifth grade boys. He came home and I asked him about that...no chatter there. Crickets. Nothing. Nada. Did not want to talk.
- » 5/31/2006 4:59 PM
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Unknown commented:
Punkin is a mini-me. Sweet Pea NEVER stops talking and moving and talking and movingandtalkingandmoving...
They are truly something, aren't they?- » 6/01/2006 7:16 AM
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Trop commented:
OMG! I watched the VM preview (I've not seen the show) and it's filmed on the campus where I once worked (San Diego State University)!
I love your stories. My daughter is generally quiet but get her alone in a car and she'll talk your ears off. Once she talked the entire drive (300 miles) to my parents' house.- » 6/01/2006 8:27 AM
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Odd Mix commented:
I can definitely see the resemblance! I once had a writing insttructor who told me that generally people write as they speak. If that holds true for you, then I can just hear her talking like a string of firecrackers at chinese new year.
And while I have never given birth, I don't imagine that having an object the size of a baby come out your mouth would be much less uncomfortable than giving birth in a more conventional manner.- » 6/01/2006 9:23 AM
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Not-So-Normal-Mom commented:
I didn't know it was filmed at SDSU!!!! That's like 15 minutes from my house! Maybe I could find out when, and go hang out to take pics!!!!! Hmmmmm.
- » 6/01/2006 12:06 PM
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Cat commented:
JEALOUS! Actually, though, they only used the campus to film one episode this season (Veronica solves mystery while visiting colleges with her BFF, Wallace). I do think, however, that they will be using the campus next season when Veronica goes to college.
If you live in the area, here are some other locations VM has used. Just for fun. ;)- » 6/01/2006 12:38 PM
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Nilbo commented:
Although I have previously promised not to comment - because it seems to stop all comments instantly - let me just inject some arcane and useless knowledge. There are two possible sources for "spitting image". One is the mold blacksmiths used to make in sand, which was filled with molten iron and called a "spit". Everything made with that mold was the "spit image".
The second possibility comes from the South, where the phrase "He's the spit of his father" is found. It's believed by some that "spit" is just a Southern dialectical pronunciation of "spirit", and that the phrase was "he is the spirit and image of his father."
Me, I go with "Well, the acorn didn't fall far from that tree". And in this case, the reference to nuts seems .. umm .... apt. (g)- » 6/01/2006 1:29 PM
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Charlotte in Pa commented:
I don't want Nilbo to think he's a Comment-Killer, so... uhh... hi.
- » 6/01/2006 3:38 PM
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Ern commented:
I'm out of breath after reading that!
- » 6/01/2006 4:14 PM
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commented:
I used to think it was 'splitting image' which makes much more sense. The whole spit thing always bothered me, too.
I heart you.- » 6/06/2006 8:04 PM