Please, for the love of Pete, will you stop with the sighing, groaning, yawning, and rapid-fire sneezing, not to mention the incessant hacking cough that I can actually HEAR launching a million icky germs my way? Right over the cubicle? Right at me? Itty bitty guided missiles of ICK? How about using a tissue, a handkerchief, your sleeve? Or, I know: you could GO HOME.
Because, you see, as a momma, I already have three little mouth-breathers of my very own, coughing and snotting all over me as they look for the motherly sympathy I am contractually obligated to give them when they are feeling tired, grumpy, and downright icky. Consequently, I do not need you Compounding the Problem.
Oh no! Great. Now I feel a tickle in my throat. A tickle! In my throat!
Man, when I am the boss, or the President, or God, I will totally send people home who drag their sorry, sick, hacking, sniffling, sighing, sneezing carcasses into work simply to prove they are troopers by damn and live by a never-say-die work ethic, even when they are sickeningly sick and insist on coughing all over everyone and everything within a five-mile radius, and apparently delight in telling people on the telephone that they just visited the bathroom and oh boy maybe should reconsider eating lunch "if you know what I mean, wink, wink."
- kalki commented:
Do I hear an AMEN? There is this intern who uses the desk next to mine, and he has serious phlegm issues. He hacks and snorts and rattles the stuff around in his throat. He's so NASTAY. I just want to grab him by the hair, tilt his head back, and squirt antibacterial soap up his nose and down his throat.
- » 3/10/2005 3:13 PM
- Mike commented:
Maybe if you poke your head over the wall with a surgical mask on, they'll get the hint.....And if that doesn't work, there's always the threat of bodily harm if they don't exit the premises immediately. Unless, of course, their job is so vital to the survival of the company, that they must absolutely be there at all costs. Even if that means YOU must be infected for the greater good of the company...
- » 3/10/2005 4:13 PM
- Cat commented:
Hmm... a surgical mask AND antibacterial soap? Tempting.
- » 3/10/2005 5:17 PM
- Cat commented:
Hey. Do you think screaming, "GET YOUR SORRY, SICK ASS HOME TO BED, YOU MISERABLE FILTHY MCNASTY!!" would be too over the top? Huh? No? Anyone?
- » 3/10/2005 5:20 PM
The last solution sounds most appropriate.
- » 3/13/2005 9:02 AM