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Desperate Working Mommas
Your one-stop site for fanatical television snarking, questionable political analysis, occasional attempts to address the parenting issues facing working mothers, and halfhearted promises to stop obsessing about the entertainment industry, already! Oh, not to mention the random bitching and moaning. There's always that.
Monday, October 31, 2005
"Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons!"

When my daughter invited her best friend (who happens to be Jewish) to come to the Halloween party at our church, and I assured her hesitant parents the only religion she would be exposed to would be a prayer over the food, her father said to me, "I guess it's all right... as long as you don't try and convert her."

Of course I responded with, "Curses! My secret plan to bring your daughter unto Jesus has been foiled! And it was all falling into place, too!" channeling the always amusing and deliciously evil Mr. Burns. No, really. I find myself very amusing, you see. I may have cackled a bit and rubbed my hands together in maniacal glee. Perhaps. It's all a blur now... I'm just saying it's a possibility, okay?! Gosh! Let it go.

Imagine my surprise when they looked at me in unadulterated, wide-eyed alarm. It was at this precise moment that it occurred to me that perhaps it was time for me to hone my Bullshit Detection skills.

Because apparently her parents actually did believe that celebrating a secular holiday in the gymnasium at the local church-- wherein young revelers dress up in spooky disguises, visit carnival booths, take part in cake walks, scream themselves hoarse in Spook Alley, and finally round out the evening by trunk-or-treating in the parking lot-- really WAS a prime opportunity for proselytizing unsuspecting Jewish children and ripping them forever from their faith in living a religious life in accordance with Scriptures and rabbinic traditions. You know, what with the candy and the cookies and the makeshift baptismal font standing at the ready in the far corner of the gymnasium and all?

Huh. Say it with me now: Awkward.

I am happy to report, however, that in the end I was able to talk them around and they did allow their daughter to attend the Halloween party with Hannah. Fortunately I had the good sense to keep a close watch over the girls, and except for this one tricky moment when a few overzealous Christians attempted to convince her that the baptismal font was a dunking booth, the evening went off without a hitch and she was returned home safe, happy, and admittedly a tad sugared up, but as far as I could tell still totally Jewish.

link | posted by Cat at 10:47 AM

Blogger LadyBug commented:

I love the way you write. You're just so darned cute. And fun-NAY!

» 10/31/2005 11:16 AM 
Blogger WILLIAM commented:

Trunk or Treat? That is the second time I have heard that phrase this week. I have never heard of it before this weekend. I picture big fat guys with no shirts and the Redskin Logo painted on their chest given out Bratwurst and Burger to kids.

Halloween tailgating.

» 10/31/2005 12:17 PM 
Blogger mrtl commented:

Is William diggin' on fat Redskins fans and brats? That's. not. cool. The rest of it is acceptable.

Cat - you know someone blessed that poor Jewish girl while she was there. To make her an honorary Catholic (or whatever). Because that's how those sneaky Catholics are. (I'm still convinced that my parents had Bug baptised when we left her alone with them.)

» 10/31/2005 12:39 PM 
Blogger not-so-normal mom commented:

Bwa ha ha...dunk tank! You are the cutest. The smarty pants are going over well so far. I wore them to the boys' school this morning, and people are tickled by them.. Let me just say that they are very heavy! Four pounds of candy, yo! Oh, and I totally loved your Mr Burns impersonation! (On a side note, thank you for your advice and concern. I am considering my options right now.)

» 10/31/2005 1:16 PM 
Blogger Amy commented:

Great post. You totally should have made a little cross made of Smarties glued on cardboard and popped it in her treat bag to take home, just to freak em out.

» 11/01/2005 2:31 PM 

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