My friend Paige, with the skinny on mate selection in second marriages:
"So, going into your first marriage you look at the man you've chosen to share your life with and you think to yourself, 'Dude. My boy is FINE. Wow. Just look at him. HOTNESS.' The second time around you look at the new man in your life and you think to yourself, 'Dude. This guy looks like he'd take out the trash without even being asked. He'd probably let me control the remote, too. HOTNESS.'"
I have to say, I'd settle for a husband who remembers to put down the toilet seat after he pees so when his dear wife stumbles to the bathroom in the middle of the night and considerately refrains from flipping on the bathroom light out of common courtesy to said husband (and because when you turn on the light in the middle of the night it totally wakes you up and messes with your body clock so it's all, "Time to wake up!" but it's not and then you can't get back to sleep again for hours and hours), she doesn't end up "falling in," or more specifically, momentarily losing her bearings when the toilet seat does not meet her bum at the expected time, causing a split second of sheer, unadulterated terror, leading to involuntary screeching and frantic air-scrabbling, followed by a jolt, a gasp, and a the shock of cold toilet water hitting her terrorized bum, totally waking her up more than if she would have just flipped on the frickin' light in the first place.
6 Comments:
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Nilbo commented:
Gosh, you'd think by now you'd have learned to check. And anyway, a lil dip helps with what they call "personal freshness". Win/win.
- » 5/12/2006 7:25 PM
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commented:
Whatever... There are so many other things to complain about, why pick the toilet seat? Sheez
- » 5/13/2006 10:45 AM
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WILLIAM commented:
I thought the second time you were supposed to marry for money?
- » 5/14/2006 2:19 PM
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Amy commented:
Your friend is bang on. I would settle for, "look at that guy, he looks like he would take his kids to the park every night to let his wife have some peace and quiet. I'll take him".
- » 5/14/2006 7:13 PM
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LadyBug commented:
I have one word for you, Cat...one word that has not only helped me with the checking-the-seat thing, but has also helped Deputy Dad with his...ahem...aim:
Nightlight.- » 5/15/2006 8:26 AM
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Unknown commented:
LadyBug -- are you sure Nightlight is one word? I always get that one confused...
- » 5/15/2006 10:53 AM