Yesterday I was reading an article in a magazine about a man in the metro DC area who has legally changed his name to Jesus Christ. No, really. It's a devout expression of his faith, he claims. Hee. That in itself just cracks me up. I don't know why. "Hey there, Mr. Christ. What's the buzz? Tell me what's a- happenin'!" Anywhos, he is running into some problems in West Virginia, where he bought some land and is hoping to retire. Which is weird. I always thought Jesus would be more of a Utah fan...
The problem, you see, is that Jesus Christ falls short of West Virginia title and license transfer requirements because his Florida birth certificate has his original name on it and he has been unable to obtain an official name change in Washington DC, even though he changed his name to Jesus Christ over 15 years ago, and the name appears on his Social Security card as well as his passport. It is unclear to me at this time as to whether or not his middle name is H. But wouldn't we all be surprised if it were?
Christ did apply for the legal name change in May 2003, but it was denied by a District of Columbia Superior Court Judge because "taking the name of Jesus Christ may provoke a violent reaction or may significantly offend people." OH-kay... valid point, I suppose. Gosh. Perhaps I should rethink my idea of changing my name to St. Catherine of Alexandria. I thought it had a nice ring to it, and I've always admired Joan of Arc-- we would totally be BFF's-- but now, seriously... who wants the hassle? Catherine the Great it is, then. Yes?
Regardless, I am intrigued! What will happen? Will the courts overturn this ruling? Does Jesus Christ have a prayer? (Ha cha cha! Thank you! I'm here 'til Thursday! Try the veal!) Again with the hee.
Thing is, other than amusing me in an admittedly sacrilegious way, this situation reminds me of a student I had in my aforementioned Basic English for Dirtheads class. His name? Jesus Castillo. Yep. Good old Jesus C. He was a quiet kid, definitely not one to participate willingly in class, but pretty likeable in his silent, stoic way. Ofttimes in class when I would ask a particularly challenging question about the reading or a lesson we were discussing, the other boys in the class would get these exaggerated thoughtful expressions on their faces, then someone would inevitably wonder aloud, "Hmm, Mrs. L. That's a hard one..." Then with a pointed glance old JC's way, he would add, "What would Jesus say?"
I laughed every time.
And Jesus? Totally took it in stride, turned the other cheek, if you will. They were his friends, after all.
I am so going to hell, aren't I?
- WILLIAM commented:
Interestring. You crack me up.
Muslims take the name Mohammed all the time. I think it is okay if this guy wants to be Jesus. There is a dirty joke in here somewhere about the second.....Oh nevermind.
- » 11/10/2005 10:17 AM
- Ern commented:
The guy in your class was "Hay-sous" though, right? Or did he pronounce it the Christ way?
We knew someone in college who was Buddhist, and everyone called him "Buddha". And we all thought it was weird, because, who takes the name of their God/Spiritual leader? Well, I guess this guy does!
(And hehehe to William's dirty joke!)
- » 11/10/2005 11:47 AM
- not-so-normal mom commented:
I am intrigued as well. It may seem a little sacrilegious, but personally, I don't care what you want to change your name to! Go ahead knock yourself out! Out here in sunny southern California, there are many Jesus'! Although, as ERN pointed out, they are pronounced Hay-Soos. My mom likes to call them Jesus, though. It makes her giggle. By the way, Cat, I like St. Catherine of Alexandria. It sounds very regal.
- » 11/10/2005 12:08 PM
- Cat commented:
Yes, ern, as a matter of fact he did pronounce his name "Hey-Zoos" which is why, incidentally, his nickname amongst his friends was "Zeus" (when they weren't calling him "Gee-Zus," that is). I must admit it took me a semester to catch the connection. I just figured the boy was, like, WAY into Greek mythology. And maybe a tad pretentious. Because king of the gods? Arrogant, much? Geez.
Me. Slow. Deal with it.
William? You drrrrty!
NSNMom: Hey! Thanks for the vote of confidence! I hope the name change goes over well at work. I'll have to let them know they are welcome to call me Saint Cat for short...
- » 11/10/2005 12:40 PM
- kalki commented:
If you do go to hell, hell will be the better for it. (There's a compliment in there somewhere, promise.)
- » 11/10/2005 1:59 PM
- mrtl commented:
- » 11/10/2005 9:20 PM
- Amy commented:
I went to school with a ton of Portuguese people, and there were a couple of Jesuses over the years. (One guy they called Zeus. Because 'hey-zoos' turned to Hey Zeus and then just Zeus.)
- » 11/11/2005 6:49 AM
- Vajana commented:
I'd like that, Hey Zeus. Only if he looked like Laurence Oliver though.
Hey Zeus....don't make it bad...
- » 11/11/2005 3:18 PM